Please Don't Kill My Vibe

My phone rang. I looked down at it and couldn't stop smiling as I saw the name "Mike" pop up on my screen. Awesome possum! I thought as I answered it. "Hey babe, what's good?" he asked as I tried to make my voice sound regular and not like I was cheesing oh-so-hard.

(Took my hair down and got new glasses. Time for a change. I like it.)

"Nothing much, running errands" I answered back nonchalantly but doing the happy dance in the aisle at Target. We talked for a couple minutes more and he promised to call me back later that evening. I ran the rest of my errands and called my sister to tell her about my trip to NYC and the guy that I met while I was there. I will normally wait before I disclose any info to my friends or family since they have a tendency to get excited and I like to make sure that someone is gonna be around for a bit. But I got a good feeling about this dude. He worked at the hotel where we were staying and we met briefly  the afternoon of my shoot. That night, after the big-as-a-cat rat incident, I went into the hotel bar and he was there and came over and we chatted. His phone rang while we were talking and his Jay-Z ringtone began to play. Shut.the.front.door. Shut it all the way!!!!!! I told him "We are officially friends now." Now I know what you're thinking, a Jay-Z ringtone does not a suitable suitor make. But it doesn't hurt. So I continued to talk to him, found out he lived in Brooklyn (ummm hmmmmm) and did I mention that he was tall? Ok, I'm just mentioning that.

 We exchanged information and he walked me to the elevator and gave me a hug as I went upstairs to my room. I told Sonya about the nice guy I met, sent Reiko a quick text about the Jay-Z coincidence and watched "Poetic Justice" until I fell asleep.

Fast forward a week  later. Mike has called daily, he texts me a morning greeting and then will call once I respond so that we can have a conversation. What the what?!? Yep, he calls on the phone yall! I ask if he is married or has a girlfriend, he says he's single, two years older than me with a 15 year old daughter. Check, check and I can deal with that. So at this point I'm feeling pretty hopeful, thinking the planets have aligned, all of the crazy dates and dudes who are playing games are a distant memory. He asks about visiting Texas, looking up flights while we're on the phone and asking when school starts for me so that he can come before then. Aggressive. I can dig it.

 (Wearing Warby Parker glasses, earrings from a store that I can't remember; 

Thrifted top; old Levi's cutoffs; Target sandals; Prada bag)

My phone rings. Blocked number. I answer it, no one says anything. Second call. Blocked number again. No response. I say to the caller "If you are calling me then you obviously want something. Please stop being childish and immature and say whatever it is that you want or stop calling my phone." They hang up. Third call. "Do you know *Mike Henry?" the voice asks. "Yes I do," I reply, my heart sinking."Well this is his wife. Did he tell you he was married?" 

"No. No he didn't."

So during the conversation I tell the wife the lies that Mike has told me and she is periodically yelling that he wants to live the single life and that if he wants to live that life then he is going to lose his family. I got the impression that this was not the first time that he's done this or the first time that she's made this type of call. She tells me that they are supposed to go to Jamaica that weekend. I tell her that he told me that it was a guy's trip and that he would keep in touch with me while he was there. I tell wife that I didn't know about her and she apologizes to me and needless to say, dude has been busted.

He does not respond when I text him that he will reap what he has sown, that he is a poor example of a man for his daughter and that if he doesn't like being married that doesn't mean that he gets other people caught up in his games. 

I tell Stephen, my New York guardian angel about the sad and stupid situation and he asks for the guy's name and he's furious. He tells me that he'll take care of it. Fast forward to a couple of hours later and Stephen calls me back. He says that he has gone to the hotel and talked to the manager about the whole sordid tale of Miscreant Mike and his Woeful Wife. The manager tells Stephen that employees are not supposed to fraternize with guests at the hotel and that if I want to file a formal complaint that Mike would be terminated. Stephen asks what I will do. I was resigned to the situation at first, telling myself suck it up and move on Juanette. But I get so tired of men getting to do whatever it is that they want to do and they never lose anything. You can lie and cheat and still have your wife, girlfriend, or baby mama and pay no mind to the collateral damage that you leave behind. To the hurt feelings and loss of possibility that the women they mislead are left with. By not telling me he was married, he took away my choice to make a decision.

I talked it over with a couple of people and they advised me to let it go or reminded me that he has a family to take care of. I respond that he wasn't thinking about his family when he was calling and lying but now it's supposed to be important to me?

My personal deadline was yesterday on making a decision. I didn't file the complaint. Not because I care about him, his job or his family. But I care about me. I don't know what his plan was and how long he thought he could get away with this but some people never get the lesson and we have to leave them where they are. But I won't be bitter, I won't give him anymore space in my head, I choose to move on. I've decided that he is obviously unhappy and damaged goods or he wouldn't be doing the things that he's doing and losing his job might be the catalyst needed for his wife to leave him. 

Let her stay, serves him right.

Note:

*No names have been changed to protect the guilty*

Being Different like 2 Chainz is hard ass work.....