Monday, September 20, 2010

An Open Letter to Rachel Zoe: I Die





Dear Rachel Zoe,

I admit I didn't like you when I heard of you because I thought you were making all of the stars you styled scarily skinny and that you lied about your age. But I realize now that Nicole Richie was just anorexic or on cocaine and I can't blame you for that. But even if you are lying about your age, I forgive you. I know women that do that so it's all good. Ever since I started watching The Rachel Zoe Project, I've figured out that there are some things I really love about you.

1. Your styling skills are superb. You have a knack for dressing women for their body type and not having them look too over the top. Whenever I watch awards shows and pick my favorites, nine times out of ten, you have styled them.


2. I adore your jackets and your jewelry and I generally like the way you dress.




However, you are eerily thin when the paps have caught you showing skin....

 3. You made the greatest decision ever by hiring Brad and getting rid of Taylor. I enjoy the show now, Brad seems to have come into his own without Taylor's negative vibes stinking up the joint. And I love his style...



So even though I (not so) secretly think Rodger is gay and is sleeping with your hairstylist Joey, please go ahead and have a baby so that he won't leave you for a similar-to-your-build 12 year old boy. Or at least stop talking about your work so much, I think he needs a break from the fashion monotony.
Rachel and Grown Up Justin Bieber (Rodger)

Ba-na-na-ly Yours,

Juanette

 Harper's Bazaar shoot with Zoe and Marc Jacobs

10 comments:

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

I really can't deal with you Juanette!

*laughing uncontrollably*

Adrienne said...

This has me in hysterics! Lol, you have just written everything I have thought. But I do feel bad for Rodger - he just wants a family!

Moni @ CL Journal said...

OMG! Juanette, I COMPLETELY LOVE THIS LETTER!

I agree with you 100% and I have to say, I thought she should have gotten rid of Taylor from the first episode!

Rodger does look like Justin Bieber! LOL!

Dhalia said...

LMAO....girl you are funny. But I have to give it to you...I just about agree with you on everything. Girl... I couldnt stand that Taylor.

Dhalia

Kimberly said...

This is perfection! ♥ Rachel and Brad and your letter!

caramelnaps25 said...

Juanette,

I am a full time teacher, full time college student, private tutor, wife and stepmom who has very little time for tv ( I stalk blogs to relax) lol, but you have me ready to click on the on demand button and catch up on all the previous shows so that I can laugh, nod my head in agreement and just enjoy the convo:) You always crack me up! Oh and I am on my fall break so I just may check this out after I do the step-daughter's hair tonight!

Anonymous said...

MEAN....but..HI-LAR-IOUS!!!! Exactyly what many think :-)

Sylvie said...

OMG My sentiments exactly! Especially the Rodger Joey thing I watch it thinking does she not see it??

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Marsha (BrownFace) said...

This was FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! OMG!!! I love Rachel Zoe (my fellow Virgo friend in my head), but I agree that she needs a swift Popeyes three piece!!

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