I have been besieged with questions, conversations and thoughts about the L word over the weekend so I took it as a sign for a post.
No not THAT L Word, the L word known as love...
A friend asked me when is the right time to say "I love you" to someone. She has been seeing a guy for a little over a year and they've never said it to one another. I asked her if she loved him and she said yes. But she said that she was waiting for him to say it first.
My advice to her? Tell him.
Now now, before you hit me with the "I wouldn't do that" and "She needs to wait until he tells her first" hear me out.
I believe that if you love someone you can't help but to tell them. It wants to come spilling out of your mouth whenever you talk to them no matter what the subject is.
Him: Hey, do you know where my blue shirt is?
Her: I love you.
Him: Ok. But have you seen my shirt?
But that feeling. That feeling of security that comes with being in love, when someone sees you at your worst but accepts you anyway. When you share your vulnerabilities and fears and the person lets you know that they have your back. When you think of someone else before you think of yourself. They help you become a better you. That's love.
If you love someone you are saying it because you want them to know how you feel, not because you need them to say it back.
I used to use the L Word a lot more freely in my younger years. I gave it to those who didn't deserve it, those who who misused it and a few who cherished it. But experience has made me wary. I don't want to waste my love and "I love you"s on someone who isn't worthy of it. But when I do love, I love hard.
Here is what President Grant told Olivia Pope on Scandal.
(If you are not watching Scandal you are dead to me.):
“I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you. I wait for you. I watch for you. I exist for you.”
Now THAT'S what I'm tawking bout! There is no pride when it comes to love.
Button down: Thrifted
Pants: J.C. Penney
So, do you agree or disagree? Who says it first? Do you wait on him/her or is it just whoever feels it first? Are you scared to say those three little words? And if so, what's holding you back?