Wednesday, June 06, 2012

In The Fashionista's Closet: Expectancy

I was told recently that I am used to getting my way. I've been told that before but I disagree. I'm not used to getting my way, I just have expectations. Someone once told me that if you don't have expectations then people can't disappoint you. I think that's a cop out. I don't think that there's anything wrong with having expectations, expectations are your way of letting people know what's required of them.



Earrings: Gifted
Top: Zara
Men's Belt: Thrifted
Shorts: Old Navy
Bracelets: Forever 21/Sam Moon
Shoes: Jessica Simpson (Did anyone else see that Tracee Ellis Ross has these also?)

I don't expect a man to take me to four star restaurants but I do expect to go out. I want a good meal and a tasty adult beverage every now and again. We could spend a day at the park, a lunch date at Chipotle or go to a house party and get our boogie on.

I expect consistency. Consistency takes effort and shows that you are serious.
I expect a man to be my friend. I want to truly like you as a person and want to be friends with you. Friendship is also about being vulnerable and sharing your hopes and fears with someone you can trust. Someone who will be your friend when you're at your best and still there at your worst. Being vulnerable is hard for me. But once I let down my guard and share myself with you then we are officially friends.
This may seem small but my biggest expectation is having a man open the door for me. Whether we are co-workers, friends, dating, etc., I now step to the side and let the man get the door for me. But I didn't always feel that way. I was one of those "I got it" girls. "That's ok, I got it" as I opened my own car door, front door, office door and bounced on in. My ex-boyfriend and I would argue about the fact that I wouldn't wait for him to open the door for me. "I can do it" I insisted and he told me that he knew I could but if someone was willing to do it for me, then let them. He told me that if I never expected anything I would never get anything. That struck me. To this day...
I am not a materialistic woman, what kind of car you drive, where you live and where you work doesn't impress me at all. My worth isn't measured by how much money you spend at dinner but about how you treat me in the process. I want to feel special. Who doesn't?
"How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being? " ~Oscar Wilde

21 comments:

Venesha said...

Those shoes are super cute!!
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NaturallyFashionable said...

I adore this look! There is nothing wrong with expectations...everyone needs to have those:-)

Pieces of Me!! said...

Ur outfit is suuuuper cute...LOOOOVE it!!!! and I couldnt agree with you any more!!!!!!! I CONCUR!!! A man that is not consistant drives me crazy!!(lol)I mean u nailed it ALL to a T!!!!!

Carsedra said...

Your outfit is too cute, I love how you styled the shorts with the JS shoes!!!


Carsedra of:

http://www.embracingtherealme.com/

http://sweets4yourtooth.blogspot.com/

Yoli said...

I USED to be an "I Got It". My ex-fiance and I used to argue about it as well. It would "irk" me so badly when we went out to anywhere -- he ALWAYS had to get my door for me (to me it was wasting time - YOUNG and DUMB, I know). That's until I started to date again...some of those BUSTA came with the expectancy that I should be opening their doors (I DON'T THINK SO)! Needless to say, I know better now!

adamseve said...

Sisterfriend, this post speaks volumes. I just had someone tell me that I was high maintenance, boogie, etc. simply because I have expectations and standards! My response: keep it moving:)

adamseve said...

Love the outfit. One question: what type of bra do you wear with your off the shoulder tops? I'm asking because I always wear a strapless bra but wondered if there were an alternative.

Thanks for your help!

Jamillah said...

First off HI! Stopping over from your feature on Consider Me Lovely. I adore that Oscar Wilde quote. I hope every woman reads it and remembers it.

I also really relate to what you say about consistency. That is a big deal to me because it shows you care. I keep my expectations high as well and you know I think it's only made me a life surrounded by great people.

Juanette said...

Thank you ladies!

@AdamsEve I will normally wear silicone nipple covers that I buy from Target but I wore a regular bra with this top because it's rather sheer and just pulled the strap down.

adamseve said...

Thanks Juanette...going to have to try those covers.

Dee said...

Love that outfit, top to bottom. And your hair is giving me life, my Lord it looks to thick and lush.

sd lin said...

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Nikkipooh said...

I think I need those shorts and shoes. #runstooldnavywebsite don't be shocked if I send you a pic:) lol You know it won't look the same on me though, lol.

adamseve said...

Juanette, I've been trying to find the JS shoes. What's the name of them? I've gotta have them LOL

Jennifer Price said...

I agree with EVERYTHING. Love your blog!

Tavia Mac said...

Another camo look I adore! I have been inspired!

~Tavia
www.ninetofly.blogspot.com

linmin fu said...

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