I have been described as animated, impetuous, talkative, tactless, and forthright
but I have never been described as stagnant....
I was talking to a friend about why people stay in relationships that are stagnant, unequally yoked or just plain old toxic. He descibed it as the "devil you know" theory.
Some people are unhappy but comfortable with the "devil they know". They argue, they fuss and they fight about any and every thing but they figure it may be the same or worse with someone else.
"Better the devil you know than the devil you don't know."
I call b.s. You would rather stay unhappy in an unhealthy relationship than grow and move on and possibly find happiness with someone else? Just because you have been with someone for x number of years doesn't mean that that they were good years, it just means that for whatever reason you did not move on when you realized that it was going south. I think that sometimes our minds trick us into believing that something is normal until something clicks and we realize that we don't have to live that way. If I only grew up eating dirt and then someone offers me bacon and I taste it and love it, then my mind is like "Well why the heck was I eating dirt all of those years?!?" #MindBlown #BaconAnalogiesAmuseMe
If you get used to being abused, mistreated, mishandled, you begin to think that's normal. Yes we have challenges in relationships but if you are disrespected, unfulfilled, beaten down, depressed, or afraid of your partner, I am here to tell you that we are not supposed to live our life that way. Love does not feel like that. Fear feels like that.
But sometimes we stay in relationships because we think that we don't deserve better, that we won't receive better. We are afraid of being alone. But if being alone means having peace of mind and even the possibility of being happy with someone else then how could you not risk it? If you truly believe that you are deserving of more than you are receiving, what are you doing to change that?
Peplum top: Zara
Clutch: Rummage Sale
Bracelets: Forever 21 / InPink
Jacket (seen below): Thrifted
It's hard leaving a relationship. It's even harder not to go back. And it's even harder still being alone in the meantime. But use that time to work on you. To figure out what the breakdown in the relationship was (because no one is blameless) and how you can do better the next time. And how do I know? Because I've been there....
“Be not afraid of growing slowly. Be only afraid of standing still.” - Chinese Proverb
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."
~ 2 Timothy 1:7