Monday, March 07, 2011

In The Fashionista's Closet: Great Expectations

People disappoint me. My main issue is dependability. It makes me angry when I feel that I can't count on someone, especially emotionally.

I can count the number of  times when I have been pushed to the limit stressed beyond belief and the very person that you thought would call you or be there for you wasn't anywhere around. I can give you names, dates, maybe even what I was wearing because I couldn't believe so and so wasn't there for me when I needed them most. Because that person was certainly around gossiping....or going out to the club. Or any other extra-curricular activities.

But I realized recently (today in fact) that people will in fact disappoint me. My solution in the past has been to cut the person off, either by giving them a piece of my mind and not speaking to them again or just ignoring them as if they never existed. Once I see you in a different light after my disappointment I believe that things won't ever be the same because I know that I can no longer count on you.

But I know that that is not the right way to handle disappointments. I know that people will not always do the things that you expect them to, and it doesn't matter what role you've played in their lives. I need to look at what type of person they are at heart. If I can deal with the disappointment, I will try to just suck it up and not hold a grudge. Or I may decide to remove that person from my inner circle and place them in my outer circle and we'll be cool but I'll keep them at arm's length. But if I believe that you are a selfish person who only cares about themselves then it's curtains for the relationship.

So whenever someone disappoints me I've decided that I am going to take the focus off of myself and do something for someone else. Volunteer, call and check on someone who I haven't spoken to in a while, write a thank you card, or commit a random act of kindness. Any other ideas on things I can do for others? (Free of course.)

 boys jacket:thrifted and borrowed
shirt: Zara
necklaces: Forever 21
belt: thrifted by Reiko
skirt: vintage
shoes: BCBG
Let's hope these instances will be few and far between. I'm currently feeling this way so I'm trying to turn a negative into a positive....


L. McNeaill said...

Excellent way to turn lemons into lemonade. You are awesome.

TamStyles said...

great way to look at it...i have learned to drop my expectations of people...i always end up hurt when I do expect of others...but this stems from childhood and not having parents (more of a father) to depend on....thanks for taking time to open this up to me..and your readers. all the best.

1x1000 said...

Awesome Post!

Ms. Tee said...

You look beautiful! I don't like to be is difficult to deal with, but I like your planned solutions! Maybe if you have a cake mix at home, you could bake some sweets for someone in addition to your other ideas!

Dee O. said...

Your hair is amazing!


Fashion Rehab said...

That's a good way of handeling people who would just disappiont you. It's better not to hold grudge, just distant yourself and slowly the relationship can fade or just never rely on them again. Great post. :)

Fashion Rehab

passionsontopofpassions said...

i adore this look on you. the casualty of the surplus jacket and the femininity of the peach skirt pulled together with the subtle animal print belt...A+++++



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