Self Reflection

I found this via The Quickening's Tumblr. Loves her. The original article is from Relevant Magazine. This struck me:

"Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

"Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path."

I just bought the May issue of O Magazine with the photo of Oprah now and her 21 year old self. I haven't even opened the issue yet but I began thinking about my 21 year old self. How I was so carefree in my attitude about allowing love in my life, showing love and being in love.

I loved hard. With intensity. Without reservation.

I want her back. That optimist who thought that all you had to do was love someone and they would do right by you. Who loved boldly and proudly. Who believed that love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I realize that I have been so afraid of being hurt from my past that I have loved half-heartedly. I have loved  with mistrust, with regret, and with fear. Instead of believing someone was too good to be true, I would think "What's wrong with him?" Instead of trusting someone to lead, I wanted to plan the route. I was angry at my past so I took it out on my present.

But I am ready. To forgo my past. To fulfill my future. To relish the present.

In The Fashionista's Closet: Boris Kodjoe

It's not what you think. I know that you think I'm talking about THIS Boris Kodjoe:

Fine. Tall. Sexy.  He could probably get any woman he wants, huh?

But I'm not talking about that Boris Kodjoe.

Really it's dudes who THINK that they're Boris Kodjoe.

 (At my favorite joint, H&M.)
Earrings: Gifted
Camo jacket: Thrifted and gifted by Reiko
White shirt: Thrifted
Skirt: Marshalls
Bag: Prada
Shoes: Steve Madden

A while back, one of my friends tried to set me up with a friend of his. I really think that his only reason for doing so was because we were both single, we ended up having nothing in common. He gave the friend my number and then would ask me for weeks if his friend had called. After about the third time that he asked and I said no, he said "That dude must think that he's Boris Kodjoe or somebody."

So now whenever a dude is being flaky, acting as if he's too good, or just otherwise being an a-hole, Reiko and I call him a Boris Kodjoe. As in NOT Boris Kodjoe. (But he thinks he is.)

*Disclaimer: I don't even like Boris Kodjoe like that, he's not even in my top ten but my friend used his name so I ran with it.

That dude that called and texted everyday for a week then fell off when the weekend came? He thinks he's Boris Kodjoe!

The dude who  pestered you for a pic and only agreed to meet after he saw your photo and then invited you over to his "media room" to watch a movie? Boris Kodjoe.

The dude who didn't even call (or email) to say "Nice to meet you" after you put forth the effort of meeting him after emailing forever and a day?? Boris freaking Kodjoe!

I'm laughing as I type this because I know that Reiko is laughing hysterically that I'm disclosing this. But I think that you and your friends can use it too. He doesn't have to be a Boris Kodjoe, he can be Brad Pitt (Before Angelina). Or  Ryan Gosling. Or Lil Wayne if you like that type of dude.

P.S. No more setups. I don't care how long you've known him, his mama or his play cousin. I'd rather try my hand and do it the old fashioned way and meet him at a club like everybody else does.

I kid, I kid.

But there are too many dudes walking around here thinking that they're Boris Kodjoe.....

And believe me. They're not.

In The Fashionista's Closet: I've Got a Crush On You

I have never considered myself to be a "pink" person but I am really in love with hot pink these days (like these hot pink platform sandals.) Can you have a crush on a color? I vote yes!

And speaking of crushes...

One of my students has a crush on another student in my class. What I love about him is that he is not one bit shy about his adoration for her (even though the other students tease him about it.)

They had to write sentences using their vocabulary words and here are his sentences:

1. My teachers mistrust me around *Cynthia.

2. I will never misuse Cynthia.

3. If Cynthia goes out with me, I will never misbehave.

4. I told Cynthia that the necklace I bought her was nonreturnable.

*Name has been changed.

Bag: Prada

Bracelets: InPink, Forever 21

Heels: Steve Madden

There were more but I figure that you get the gist. EVERY sentence had something to do with the girl.

 Jacket: Thrifted

Dress: H&M

You gotta admire the kid's tenacity.....

Shop Wise With Juanette: Inventore (Made Up Word) Yourself

I recently received an email from a reader of Fashion Nette-work (Hey Kesha!) asking about shopping tips for people that hate shopping and if I have a method for shopping. So since she asked I thought that I would share what works for me in a new series called "Shop Wise With Juanette."

Jenna Lyons Closet

My First Tip: Take inventory of what items you already have. Ask yourself if things can be altered or updated, you may need to just cut off the sleeves or alter the hemline to give an item new life. Get rid of things that don't fit, flatter or are just plain old out of style. Even if you can still fit it. Acid washed jeans? Don't do it. Crocheted poncho? Come on, people, work with me.

I had a dress that I loved, I mean L-O-V-E-D loved that I had for years. I bought it from Clothestime. Ummm hmmm, Clothestime. (Some of yall have no idea what Clothestime even is, lol.) I had that dress for about ten years, no lie. I was going through my Spring/Summer clothes and my boyfriend at the time told me that I needed to get rid of that dress. Me: "Who does he think he is, Andre Leon Talley or somebody??" Tryna tell me what was in style. I was indignantly telling my friend about what he said and she told me, "He's right." WHHHHHAAAAAA?!? You could have knocked me over with a feather. But after I thought about it, I realized that although the dress was long like I like them, the pattern and cut was dated. So I got rid of it (under duress, lol.) But it was time. I also believe that once you got rid of things that are just taking up space, it makes room for new things to come to you.
(This can also apply for life in general.)

(images via Pinterest)

By the way my photo from the Tx Style Council is on NM Daily, the Neiman Marcus Lifestyle blog! Thanks Reiko for letting me know!

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Texas Style Council: Part Deux

Stop the music. I have some serious things that I'd like to get off of my chest. I have been composing this post in my head ever since I left Austin. I want it to come across the right way and I hope that you'll understand where I'm coming from. 

Diversity. A word that I've used a lot in the past five days. It's defined as "the condition of having or being composed of differing elements : variety; especially : the inclusion of different types of people (as people of different races or cultures) in a group or organization." My belief is that everyone wants to be represented. By someone that they can relate to. Who may look like them. And sometimes the majority doesn't see that because they're well, the majority. They are used to seeing people who look like them.  

Jacket: Ralph Lauren (thrifted and gifted by Reiko)

Tee shirt: Target

Bracelets: InPink

Jeans: H&M

Clutch: DSW

Shoes: Steve Madden (gifted by Reiko)

Growing up in a small town, in most situations back then I was the "only one." As in, the only black person. I was in advanced classes and was the "only one." I was a cheerleader and was the "only one" until my friend Melissa made the squad my junior year. Class officer: "only one." I didn't give it much thought then because I was so used to it. I accepted it for what it was.

As time went on, in college I became involved in activities where I wasn't the only one. I became used to seeing people that looked like me and interacting with everyone.

My time in Austin both this time and last year I was keenly aware of how few people there were that looked like me. And how unacknowledged I felt by the conference organizer both years as well. I believed (mistakenly perhaps) that her acknowledgment was reserved for "big name" bloggers or those attendees that she knew personally. My blog is not a big one, I didn't expect to feel like Norm when he went into Cheers but a hi, head nod or high five would have sufficed. But I got none of the above, even when I was standing thisclose to the person who wanted (I would think) for me to feel welcomed and to want me to return. And as a native Texan I know what warm and personable are.  

It really got me to thinking. I don't play the race card all willy nilly. I think that most slights and misplaced comments are born of ignorance rather than malice. But I do think that the Texas Style Council (and their sponsors) are not utilyzing an untapped market to their advantage. The non-majority are important too. We spend. We blog. We too want to see someone that we can relate to. We want to be included in the discussion. And I know that there are black bloggers networks and conferences out there but why can't there be room at this table? I want to interact with everyone.  

Necklaces: (2 chain belts doubled) Sam Moon

The conference organizer made the point in a comment on her blog that she tried to include a variety of races and cultures into the organization of the conference but the one African-American blogger that she invited did not show up. One. Last time I checked, one was not a variety.

I do not want to make this a beat up session of the Texas Style Council. I think that Elissa and Linda did a phenomenal job in a hectic atmosphere. I enjoyed meeting all of the lovely people that share a passion for blogging and expressing themselves creatively. I thoroughly enjoyed catching up with Kyla, Jentine and Kendi, they are hilarious and were so unassuming and fun. I feel that it was a great networking opportunity. But I also want to feel included. By acknowledging my presence and being personable. By feeling that I'm the norm and not some anomaly because I am not a part of the majority. I think that this could be a catalyst for future discussions or even a panel for next year's conference. Let's address the issue at hand and do something about the lack of acknowledgement of diversity in blogging. 

(Me, Kendi, Jentine and Reiko)

I hope that this makes sense. Let's start the conversation. Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging.....

Tx Style Council In Review: Part Uno

I met up with the Louise to my Thelma (I'm Thelma because Thelma got to sleep with Brad Pitt in the movie but he was cute Brad Pitt back then, not the sad, rundown looking Brad Pitt that he is today. That dang Angelina and her bushel of offspring got him looking all sorts of haggard. But I digress...) and we sashayed our way to Austin to attend the Tx Style Council Bloggers Conference.

Wearing my complimentary bracelets c/o In Pink. I was looking for them to thank them but couldn't find them in the crush of people.

We attended the Posh Party on Saturday night hosted by Poshmark.

(Reiko, Rocquelle of Consider Me Lovely and me)

I was giddy to be in the same city as my ultimate crush, Shawn Corey Carter aka Jay-Z, he was in town to perform at SXSW. I was hoping to run into him at some obsecure out of the way place but no haps. Reiko thinks that it's weird that I know his middle name, is that weird? I just think you need to know the people that you have crushes on, that's all.

Spinning the wheel at the Lulu's table 

I met some cool peeps, hung out with some cool peeps that I met last year and made the most of the chilly, rainy weather that descended on Austin and had me scrambling to put together an outfit that would not have my catching the pneumonia. Yes. The pneumonia.

Glasses: Ray Ban

Tee shirt: Target

Moto Jacket: Target

Skirt: H&M

I.love.this.skirt.period. The metallic-y-ness (Yes I know that's not a word.) The pleated-ness. (Again, I know.) The silver lamè-ness of it all. (Can't wait to style it differently.)

Clutch: DSW

Tights: Spanx

Shoes: Michael Kors

Me doing what I do. Reiko is used to my antics now...

Me, Kyla of Blue Collar Catwalk and Sarah.

(Sarah I lost your card to link your blog, please let me know the name of it!)

I will be discussing my impressions of the conference, Texas Style Council and other conversations/topics that I felt should could have been addressed at the conference in a future post. Stay tuned.....

In The Fashionista's Closet: Where's Juanette? Like Waldo But Different

ONE guess as to where I went this weekend.
Was it A.) A teacher conference where I wore a sweater with an apple and a worm coming out of it. B.) A weekend of ratchetness and wickedom with an unnamed source?

or C.) Houston?

You're right! B and C! I made my way to H-town where Reiko and I crammed a semi-concert, a wedding, a birthday gathering, brunch and a little bit of shopping all into one weekend!

My wedding look.
The chain necklaces that I am wearing? Two belts that I doubled!

I am happy to report that I was on my best behavior. *Insert halo ring here*

As well as my "best behavior" can be at least....

Do you remember THIS skirt? Well I had it shortened and they did a phenomenal job.

I enjoy it shorter so much better!

Shoes: Guess

For the birthday gathering I switched shoes, these have a higher heel but are surprisingly more comfortable.

I had some other pics that I won't show because I was literally dancing while getting my pics taken.

Is that a disorder? Because I think that me and Reiko's hubby can get a check!
But he sings too so that's just crazy....

Shirt: I wanted a fitted shirt so I snagged this from the kid's dept. Thrifted

Skirt: Thrifted by Reiko

Clutch: Rummage sale

Shoes: Jessica Simpson Waleo

Big shoutout to my ace Sonya for seeing this outfit vision in her head! 

Next stop: Texas Style Council this weekend! 

Are you going???