"Looking Duck Lip In Her Pictures"....

My name is Juanette. And I have a problem.

I am a victim of duck face pictures. No, not on my blog. But the photos on my Facebook are rampant with the

"duck face."

Exhibit A. (Above)

 B.

 and C.

I'm not sure when it started.
(The fact that I am most often throwing up the deuce, i.e. "peace sign" doesn't bother me, I've been doing that for years.)

My little sis sent me the photo below and asked if this was my daughter. It's a screen shot from a Nickelodeon show that she paused and took a picture of because it reminded her of me.

I told her I didn't think so because her lips weren't pursed enough to be my offspring.

Duck Face. It's real. I'll try to stop. But I can't promise anything...

Hilarious! There's even a website dedicated to anti-duckface photos: http://antiduckface.com/

If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere....

In The Fashionista's Closet: Censored (Kinda)

Wore this outfit to a birthday party.

Earrings: Aldo Accessories

Top: American Apparel bodysuit

Skirt: Thrifted (Got this skirt for a buck, took it to a tailor and had it shortened)

Clutch: DSW

Shoes: Nine West

Sometimes I do censor myself, contrary to popular belief.  Except when I talk to certain friends, then it's no holds barred. Reiko thinks we should have a podcast but I would need a five second delay like at live awards shows.

Sometimes I don't say the things that I want to say because of the people that read my blog.

But if I COULD say what I wanted to say, I might say that the birthday boy forgot that it wasn't going to be his birthday forever.

You know how you feel on your birthday, all invincible and popular and like you "got it going on"?

 (P.S. Do people still say "got it going on"?)  

Then there's the day after your birthday, when everybody else goes back to normal. And you realize that you've been acting like Boris Kodjoe on his birthday. 

 Just a gentle reminder.....

In The Fashionista's Closet: Winning Weekend

I laughed a lot this weekend. A lot. Even though we had Saturday School yesterday.
I ain't about that Saturday School life. But it turned out okay.   

Earrings: Gifted by my friend the school counselor, I love them so!

Jacket: Thrifted and gifted by Reiko

Mens's Shirt: Thrifted

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Jessica Simpson

Things that made me happy this weekend: Attending a happy hour with a great friend, making new friends and seeing old friends.

Laughing loudly, playing Words with Friends (I'm winning), having engaging conversations....and watching line dances and hilarious YouTube videos.....

Bracelets: Forever 21; Sam Moon

Bag: Prada

Soaking up the awesome weather and enjoying tasty adult beverages (T.A.B.s) with my oldest and dearest friend..

 and eating the best.burger.ever. at Village Burger Bar. No. I mean it. I live for their burgers. It is second only to a word that begins with S and everyone does it.....Why, shopping of course (what were YOU thinking???)

How was YOUR weekend?

In The Fashionista's Closet: Giggles and Sniggles

This is just one of a few things that made me tee hee this past week:

One of my vocabulary words for my students was illiterate. I had them write sentences using their vocabulary words and one student wrote "I had illiterate of Kool-Aid and it was good."

Illiterate.

(He meant a liter.)

 

Other things that are making me laugh:

1. DumbestTweetsEver.com I love that site. Here is a snippet of a tweet:

"I think I'm lack toast and tolerant smh."

Sunglasses: Target

Umm hmmm, you read it right. She is either lactose intolerant or doesn't have any toast and is accepting of it.

This person also claims to be in National Honor Society.

2. The Basketball Wives Kitten Heel Incident. I know, I know, don't judge me. I think that the show is awful, it portrays women in a negative light and they only seem to get together so that they can bash one another (literally.) No one seems to have jobs and they all just get together to "catch up" i.e. gossip. I have really only been watching to see what Jennifer wears, she shops at Zara a lot and wears cute stuff.

Shirt: Ralph Lauren

Skirt: Thrifted

Bag: Kooba

Earrings: Can't remember

Bracelets: InPink and Forever 21

When Kenya, (who I'm convinced is the conductor of the Crazy Town Express) took off her shoes, (I am guessing as if to fight), I was like whhhhhhaaaaaaaa????????!!!!!!???????

But when Evelyn said "I'm mad at those kitten heels" I almost choked. Like for reals. On my Vitamin Water. I can see it now "Woman passed out from watching Basketball Wives Kitten Heel Episode."

Shoes: Steve Madden

 Kenya had on Gucci kitten heels. I guess she's one of those people who think that because something has a desgner label that makes it cute twenty years later. Maam, no, those aren't vintage, just out of style. I think she is Donna Summer's long lost daughter (that hair) and her style is roughly the equivalent of what mine was in 1986. But I never wore kitten heels.  

 

Another thing that makes me laugh:

3.  People that underestimate my knowingness! iKnowStuff.com

I'm gonna update my resume to Professional Googler and Facebook Finder, "Good Times" Aficionado, skilled in the art of reciting Jay-Z songs and Master of Arts in thrift store-ology and garage sale-ing. Can't remember a line from Good Times? I'm your woman!

What has made you chuckle this week?

Self Reflection

I found this via The Quickening's Tumblr. Loves her. The original article is from Relevant Magazine. This struck me:

"Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

"Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path."

I just bought the May issue of O Magazine with the photo of Oprah now and her 21 year old self. I haven't even opened the issue yet but I began thinking about my 21 year old self. How I was so carefree in my attitude about allowing love in my life, showing love and being in love.

I loved hard. With intensity. Without reservation.

I want her back. That optimist who thought that all you had to do was love someone and they would do right by you. Who loved boldly and proudly. Who believed that love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I realize that I have been so afraid of being hurt from my past that I have loved half-heartedly. I have loved  with mistrust, with regret, and with fear. Instead of believing someone was too good to be true, I would think "What's wrong with him?" Instead of trusting someone to lead, I wanted to plan the route. I was angry at my past so I took it out on my present.

But I am ready. To forgo my past. To fulfill my future. To relish the present.

In The Fashionista's Closet: Boris Kodjoe

It's not what you think. I know that you think I'm talking about THIS Boris Kodjoe:

Fine. Tall. Sexy.  He could probably get any woman he wants, huh?

But I'm not talking about that Boris Kodjoe.

Really it's dudes who THINK that they're Boris Kodjoe.

 (At my favorite joint, H&M.)
Earrings: Gifted
Camo jacket: Thrifted and gifted by Reiko
White shirt: Thrifted
Skirt: Marshalls
Bag: Prada
Shoes: Steve Madden

A while back, one of my friends tried to set me up with a friend of his. I really think that his only reason for doing so was because we were both single, we ended up having nothing in common. He gave the friend my number and then would ask me for weeks if his friend had called. After about the third time that he asked and I said no, he said "That dude must think that he's Boris Kodjoe or somebody."

So now whenever a dude is being flaky, acting as if he's too good, or just otherwise being an a-hole, Reiko and I call him a Boris Kodjoe. As in NOT Boris Kodjoe. (But he thinks he is.)

*Disclaimer: I don't even like Boris Kodjoe like that, he's not even in my top ten but my friend used his name so I ran with it.

That dude that called and texted everyday for a week then fell off when the weekend came? He thinks he's Boris Kodjoe!

The dude who  pestered you for a pic and only agreed to meet after he saw your photo and then invited you over to his "media room" to watch a movie? Boris Kodjoe.

The dude who didn't even call (or email) to say "Nice to meet you" after you put forth the effort of meeting him after emailing forever and a day?? Boris freaking Kodjoe!

I'm laughing as I type this because I know that Reiko is laughing hysterically that I'm disclosing this. But I think that you and your friends can use it too. He doesn't have to be a Boris Kodjoe, he can be Brad Pitt (Before Angelina). Or  Ryan Gosling. Or Lil Wayne if you like that type of dude.

P.S. No more setups. I don't care how long you've known him, his mama or his play cousin. I'd rather try my hand and do it the old fashioned way and meet him at a club like everybody else does.

I kid, I kid.

But there are too many dudes walking around here thinking that they're Boris Kodjoe.....

And believe me. They're not.

In The Fashionista's Closet: I've Got a Crush On You

I have never considered myself to be a "pink" person but I am really in love with hot pink these days (like these hot pink platform sandals.) Can you have a crush on a color? I vote yes!

And speaking of crushes...

One of my students has a crush on another student in my class. What I love about him is that he is not one bit shy about his adoration for her (even though the other students tease him about it.)

They had to write sentences using their vocabulary words and here are his sentences:

1. My teachers mistrust me around *Cynthia.

2. I will never misuse Cynthia.

3. If Cynthia goes out with me, I will never misbehave.

4. I told Cynthia that the necklace I bought her was nonreturnable.

*Name has been changed.

Bag: Prada

Bracelets: InPink, Forever 21

Heels: Steve Madden

There were more but I figure that you get the gist. EVERY sentence had something to do with the girl.

 Jacket: Thrifted

Dress: H&M

You gotta admire the kid's tenacity.....