In The Fashionista's Closet: The Best Medicine

Found this nifty little number at the thrift store. It was long and shapeless and muu-muu-ish. Until I added the belt.

Earrings: Beauty Supply

Dress: Thrifted

Men's Belt: Thrifted

OH! I forgot to tell yall a funny story that happened when my students were testing a couple of weeks ago.

Bag: Prada

Bracelets: Forever 21/ InPink

Shoes: Jessica Simpson Kylie

Soooooo....we were testing and I had to go the bathroom quickly while someone watched my class. I went in, did my business and pulled my skirt up. *It was one of those stretchy tube skirts.* When I got back into my classroom I realized that I had pulled my skirt up the wrong way and it was now upside down. So the bottom of the skirt was now at my waist and it was inside out! The tag was sticking out at the bottom! I had to walk around and monitor that way until someone came to relieve me for my break. I was hoping that none of my students noticed, which I don't think that they did because they would have mentioned it, they don't miss much. #hotmess (Do people still say Hot Mess? I think that will never go out of style but I needs to know.)

I wasn't feeling like myself that day, I was stressed out worrying if my students would do well and hoping that I prepared them properly.

But I've learned you gotta laugh at times like these to get you through and if it's at your own expense, well that's just a bonus.  

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." e.e. cummings

 

 

Conversations With Chris: First Date Attire

I have a friend. Let's call him, Chris. (His name, in actuality, is Chris.) Chris and I were talking and he told me that he could write a book giving women and men dating advice. *Insert side eye here.* Chris is a tall, good looking dude, who I suspect sometimes thinks that he's Boris Kodjoe (he denies this.) But he says he has lots of female friends that come to him for advice. So I began to ask Chris questions about different scenarios and (some) of his advice made sense. When he would tell me "Looka here..let me tell you something..." then I knew that I was going to get a "Chris-ism" and thus an idea was born! I told him that I was going to give the readers of Fashion Nette-work the benefit of his "expertise" and help with dating and relationship dilemmas.

I asked Chris what should a woman wear on a first date. His response: "A man wants a woman who can show what she's working with but not too much thigh or too much breast." (I felt like he was talking about my favorite chicken shack!) Too much showing means that you're trying too hard and aren't really looking for a relationship. Not enough means you may be too conservative or uptight. But don't get him wrong, Chris said that a man sometimes likes to know that other men are checking his lady out but not because you are looking like you just left your job at the strip club. Chris' advice? "Don't look like a hoe. If we wanted to see hoes, we can go to the strip club!" So ladies, no clear heels, cutout bandage dresses or tip jars on your first date.

(Toni Braxton: DoingTheMost.com)

Straight from the man's mouth! Hoe = No. What say you? Agree or disagree? Any other questions for Chris? Speak on it... 

I would rock this on a date a la Mrs. Obama.

"Looking Duck Lip In Her Pictures"....

My name is Juanette. And I have a problem.

I am a victim of duck face pictures. No, not on my blog. But the photos on my Facebook are rampant with the

"duck face."

Exhibit A. (Above)

 B.

 and C.

I'm not sure when it started.
(The fact that I am most often throwing up the deuce, i.e. "peace sign" doesn't bother me, I've been doing that for years.)

My little sis sent me the photo below and asked if this was my daughter. It's a screen shot from a Nickelodeon show that she paused and took a picture of because it reminded her of me.

I told her I didn't think so because her lips weren't pursed enough to be my offspring.

Duck Face. It's real. I'll try to stop. But I can't promise anything...

Hilarious! There's even a website dedicated to anti-duckface photos: http://antiduckface.com/

If you don't get help at Charter, please get help somewhere....

In The Fashionista's Closet: Censored (Kinda)

Wore this outfit to a birthday party.

Earrings: Aldo Accessories

Top: American Apparel bodysuit

Skirt: Thrifted (Got this skirt for a buck, took it to a tailor and had it shortened)

Clutch: DSW

Shoes: Nine West

Sometimes I do censor myself, contrary to popular belief.  Except when I talk to certain friends, then it's no holds barred. Reiko thinks we should have a podcast but I would need a five second delay like at live awards shows.

Sometimes I don't say the things that I want to say because of the people that read my blog.

But if I COULD say what I wanted to say, I might say that the birthday boy forgot that it wasn't going to be his birthday forever.

You know how you feel on your birthday, all invincible and popular and like you "got it going on"?

 (P.S. Do people still say "got it going on"?)  

Then there's the day after your birthday, when everybody else goes back to normal. And you realize that you've been acting like Boris Kodjoe on his birthday. 

 Just a gentle reminder.....

In The Fashionista's Closet: Winning Weekend

I laughed a lot this weekend. A lot. Even though we had Saturday School yesterday.
I ain't about that Saturday School life. But it turned out okay.   

Earrings: Gifted by my friend the school counselor, I love them so!

Jacket: Thrifted and gifted by Reiko

Mens's Shirt: Thrifted

Skirt: H&M

Shoes: Jessica Simpson

Things that made me happy this weekend: Attending a happy hour with a great friend, making new friends and seeing old friends.

Laughing loudly, playing Words with Friends (I'm winning), having engaging conversations....and watching line dances and hilarious YouTube videos.....

Bracelets: Forever 21; Sam Moon

Bag: Prada

Soaking up the awesome weather and enjoying tasty adult beverages (T.A.B.s) with my oldest and dearest friend..

 and eating the best.burger.ever. at Village Burger Bar. No. I mean it. I live for their burgers. It is second only to a word that begins with S and everyone does it.....Why, shopping of course (what were YOU thinking???)

How was YOUR weekend?

In The Fashionista's Closet: Giggles and Sniggles

This is just one of a few things that made me tee hee this past week:

One of my vocabulary words for my students was illiterate. I had them write sentences using their vocabulary words and one student wrote "I had illiterate of Kool-Aid and it was good."

Illiterate.

(He meant a liter.)

 

Other things that are making me laugh:

1. DumbestTweetsEver.com I love that site. Here is a snippet of a tweet:

"I think I'm lack toast and tolerant smh."

Sunglasses: Target

Umm hmmm, you read it right. She is either lactose intolerant or doesn't have any toast and is accepting of it.

This person also claims to be in National Honor Society.

2. The Basketball Wives Kitten Heel Incident. I know, I know, don't judge me. I think that the show is awful, it portrays women in a negative light and they only seem to get together so that they can bash one another (literally.) No one seems to have jobs and they all just get together to "catch up" i.e. gossip. I have really only been watching to see what Jennifer wears, she shops at Zara a lot and wears cute stuff.

Shirt: Ralph Lauren

Skirt: Thrifted

Bag: Kooba

Earrings: Can't remember

Bracelets: InPink and Forever 21

When Kenya, (who I'm convinced is the conductor of the Crazy Town Express) took off her shoes, (I am guessing as if to fight), I was like whhhhhhaaaaaaaa????????!!!!!!???????

But when Evelyn said "I'm mad at those kitten heels" I almost choked. Like for reals. On my Vitamin Water. I can see it now "Woman passed out from watching Basketball Wives Kitten Heel Episode."

Shoes: Steve Madden

 Kenya had on Gucci kitten heels. I guess she's one of those people who think that because something has a desgner label that makes it cute twenty years later. Maam, no, those aren't vintage, just out of style. I think she is Donna Summer's long lost daughter (that hair) and her style is roughly the equivalent of what mine was in 1986. But I never wore kitten heels.  

 

Another thing that makes me laugh:

3.  People that underestimate my knowingness! iKnowStuff.com

I'm gonna update my resume to Professional Googler and Facebook Finder, "Good Times" Aficionado, skilled in the art of reciting Jay-Z songs and Master of Arts in thrift store-ology and garage sale-ing. Can't remember a line from Good Times? I'm your woman!

What has made you chuckle this week?

Self Reflection

I found this via The Quickening's Tumblr. Loves her. The original article is from Relevant Magazine. This struck me:

"Ask yourself some good questions like: “Am I proud of the life I’m living? What have I tried this month? … Do the people I’m spending time with give me life, or make me feel small? Is there any brokenness in my life that’s keeping me from moving forward?”

"Now is your time. Walk closely with people you love, and with people who believe … life is a grand adventure. Don’t get stuck in the past, and don’t try to fast-forward yourself into a future you haven’t yet earned. Give today all the love and intensity and courage you can, and keep traveling honestly along life’s path."

I just bought the May issue of O Magazine with the photo of Oprah now and her 21 year old self. I haven't even opened the issue yet but I began thinking about my 21 year old self. How I was so carefree in my attitude about allowing love in my life, showing love and being in love.

I loved hard. With intensity. Without reservation.

I want her back. That optimist who thought that all you had to do was love someone and they would do right by you. Who loved boldly and proudly. Who believed that love "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

I realize that I have been so afraid of being hurt from my past that I have loved half-heartedly. I have loved  with mistrust, with regret, and with fear. Instead of believing someone was too good to be true, I would think "What's wrong with him?" Instead of trusting someone to lead, I wanted to plan the route. I was angry at my past so I took it out on my present.

But I am ready. To forgo my past. To fulfill my future. To relish the present.