Sunday, January 23, 2011

In The Fashionista's Closet: Suckas Need Not Apply

Let's get one thing straight: I hate dating. I hate that whole "So, what do you do, where are you from, have you ever been married" ritual that comes with it. The uncertainty of "Does he like me, is he looking for something serious, is he secretly married with six kids" questions that creep into my head when I meet a potential suitor. 

I think I hate dating so much because I'm no good at it. Either I like you right away or it's not happening. I have to feel some type of connection with someone to even go out with them. And don't give me that "Well you can learn to like him, give him a chance" bit because I cannot. I rely on my instincts, if we have a conversation and I feel that a guy is dumb (i.e. uses the word "dramatical"), is looking for a booty call or is socially awkward I will let him know that we are not compatible and leave it at that.

 Pearls: Forever 21, Fashion Nette-work
Denim shirt: Zara
Leather jacket: Peter Nygard

I gave a guy my number recently and he sent me the same text message THREE separate days with a photo attached to remind me of who he was. REALLY, dude? If you think that you're that forgettable after a couple of days, then I can't help you. I personally think that he really liked the photo of himself and wanted me to see him looking his 'best'. Either way, that was the end of that. I've learned that dating someone that you don't really like for convenience or to "get back out there" has disastrous results. Di-sa-strous. (I'm still kicking myself for that one.)

I was with my last boyfriend for eight years and we broke up a little over a year ago. It's hard to be vulnerable to opening yourself back up after disappointment and heartbreak. I'm not exactly sure how to navigate the dating waters but I do believe that there is someone out there specifically for me. Someone who is okay with my semi-messiness, my love of shopping and my Jay-Z jones. Someone who is God fearing and honest, who wants to be committed and married and who thinks that I am and treats me like the best gift ever. And who doesn't mind taking my pics for my blog. Amen.

 Pants: Diane von Furstenberg
Boots: Stuart Weitzman

A little swagger would be nice and have certain skills that I won't name here because my mom reads this so I gotta keep it PG.

 Someone who will laugh with me, everyday, no matter how big the problems may seem....


passionsontopofpassions said...

yeah we know "certain skills"... like how to use a hammer. LOL! you already know im right here with you on the dating scene and i have reached a point of indifference when it comes to guys. so over it!

p.s. love the yellow jacket!

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

*nodding head vigorously*

P.S. DVF pants...I HATE YOU!

I approve this look! This is going in my style file!

406 Olivia said... this post. Even though I exited the dating scene when I met my husband a couple years ago, I'm still trying to repress some of the bad memories...

Also, those pants = super chic.


Jamie @ Rural Glamour said...

I totally understand to the 100th power!

Anonymous said...

Lol..I know exactly how you feel! I was with my ex for 6 something yrs and we are no longer together! Dating is awkard but I just figure you have to go through your frogs to get to your prince!

Anonymous said...

Love the post and (I don't mean to sound cliche) will truly be praying for you. Your honesty will help a lot of women not settle. A lifetime is a long time.

Sing said...

I totally understand. It really doesn't take more than one meeting or date to know if I'm going to be into you, or if we are compatible. No need in wasting anyone's time and forcing it. Hang in there, your prince will come.
Love those wide leg pants.

Christie said...

I feel the exact same way. I hate dating. I think it's pointless. And I'm sure as hell not going out on a date with someone I didn't find appealing from the get go. How people do that is beyond me.

@hello said...

I have a serious Jay-Z addiction as well!! I swear I was a Jay-Z fan from 1992 or so...and became a Beyonce fan because of him!!! Backwards for a Bey fan. Its good to know there are others out there like me!

The Pixie Cute Chronicles

Anonymous said...

Preach! I recall going on many a date praying God would drop an anvil on my head right after the appetizer and just before the salad to put me out of my misery. The only upside to all that foolishness was that it helped me figure out what I didn't want and prepared me for HIM when he finally came along.
That entire outfit is FIYAH.

Tina said...

Love the look! I just bought some extra wide leg pants. Now I am wishing I also had a cropped jacket b/c you have inspired me!

Ms. Tee said...

Amen! I am looking for similar qualities in my future husband (claiming it). I also share the same sentiments about dating...not necessarily because I'm not good at it, but because I simply don't desire trying others on or being tried on by others for size. I am NOT a pair of polyester pants! I need someone willing to celebrate me, not tolerate me and all of my qualities, on good days and bad...not just take flight when they get bored or frustrated!

Eight years is a long time...and it takes time to distance yourself and the love you have for someone you spend so much intimate time with. Still dealing with the remnants of my last break up, but I'm better and stronger every day. New mantra: I am beautiful inside and out and deserve a man who will recognize that! :)

I'm praying for all of us who are unhitched because it's hard out here for a single sista!

Anyhoo, I can't decide which part of your outfit I like best-the pants, the color combo, the detailed button-up or the bright cropped jacket! I love it all!

Juanette said...

THank you for your wonderful comments! Hopefully I won't have to kiss anymore frogs I get stuck with too many warts!

April said...

You are speaking my language. This discribes my situation to a "T". I have been out on so many bad dates, it would be easy to quit trying. My friends try to make me feel better only to make me feel worse. I came across this article and it hit home. Thought I would share:

Anonymous said...

You better say that! I couldn't agree with you more about dating, right down to the Jay Z jones.

TrendySocialite said...

Love the look...

I hate dating too. All the get to know you crap is annoying. I wish I could fast forward to the finish sentence know how I like my coffee phase.

BESOS LYNN said...

Great list, not too much to ask for. good luck!



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